


baby’s breath

by humanveil



Series: the language of flowers [14]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Episode: s19e19 Sunk Cost Fallacy, F/F, Season/Series 19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-23 06:54:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14929349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanveil/pseuds/humanveil
Summary: It’s late when she picks up the phone.





	baby’s breath

**Author's Note:**

> written as a fill for the baby’s breath card on my [femslashficlets prompt table challenge](https://archiveofourown.org/series/888948), as well as for the square ‘tired’ on my [gen prompt bingo card](https://snax0.dreamwidth.org/27494.html).
> 
> as a disclaimer: this was the first ep of the show that i’ve watched since season sixteen-ish, so i have little to no idea of what’s going on in olivia’s life these days, but anyway. you can claw my 1.0 ships from my dead hands.

_baby’s breath —_

_everlasting and undying love; reconnecting with loss loves._

 

 

It’s late when Olivia finally picks up the phone. Her apartment is dark, lit only by the distant flicker of streetlights, by the dim glow of her bedside lamp. Noah is fast asleep in the other room, and she should be, too. Has to wake up early—in hours, even. Her job one that stops for no one. 

The phone in her hand feels heavier than it is, the glass back cold to touch. The screen is lit, the familiar contact glaring up at her. It’s not one she’s called in a long time—one she’d resigned herself to believe she would never call again. Yet her thumb hovers above the option, cheek resting in the palm of her spare hand as she stares. Considers. 

There’s a million reasons to call, a million more not to. She misses when this used to be easy. When it was normal—Alex’s voice comforting to her tired body, the sound familiar and soothing and filled with love. 

She wants that now, if she’s honest. The sight of Alex in that car park has resurfaced buried feelings, things she’s kept locked away for years. It’s almost scary, the way it’s come rushing back, but it’s not unwelcome. Not entirely. 

The thing is, she’s lost so much. Has seen too many people fade from her life. If she can stop it from happening a second time, can bring back even a semblance of what their relationship once was…

Well. 

She lifts the phone in a quick, fluid movement. The device brought to her ear after she presses call. Each ring sounds louder than the last, the noise drowning out the sound of her own heartbeat. 

Alex answers on the fifth ring. “Liv?”

“Hey.” Her voice is quiet, tired. 

“Hey,” Alex mirrors. And then, after a beat, “Can’t sleep?”

Olivia drops back against her headboard, exhales softly. “No.”

“Yeah,” Alex says, “me too.” 

Her voice is almost sad. Olivia swallows, shuts her eyes. The scene is achingly familiar—the insomnia, the guilt, the intrusive thoughts. Olivia has lost count of how many nights she’s spent awake, thinking about the ones that got away. The ones they couldn’t catch despite their best efforts. Has spent hours upon hours thinking about what they did, what they’d continue to do. And in a way, she understands what Alex is doing. Can see why she would go down that path. 

Somehow, it only makes things worse. 

The silence stretches. Grows louder by the second. On the other end of the line, Olivia hears Alex sigh, hears the rustling of sheets as she moves on the bed. 

“I’m in New York for a few more days,” Alex says. Leaves it at that—a shadow of an offer. 

Olivia’s mouth twitches. “I’m freetomorrow night,” she responds, and for a moment it feels like things used to. 

By the time she hangs up the phone, they’ve set a date and time, and Olivia is calmer than she had been. Happier. Her mind almost at ease. 

It’s enough. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> comments & kudos = ♡♡♡
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/elliotoiivia) / [tumblr](http://humanveil.tumblr.com/)


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